Written on the plane, flying over The Sudan. We land in Tanzania in 2 hours. Everything is perfect.
Back in April I put the Ghosts of Paris to bed. Running the Paris marathon in 2011 was my first trip to the great city since the weekend after I was diagnosed in 2007. The weekend I hit rock bottom. A weekend which four years later the memory of still turns my stomach. Our trip in April removed the tarnish, replaced sad memories with happy. There is a blog called The Ghosts of Paris from April 2011 which gives more detail.
One of the memories of that trip resurfaced this morning. A memory that had not been forgotten just buried. A memory which had been covered in pink wobbly wrapping paper and in a cupboard disguised as a leftover Christmas present. The memory of the walk to get my taxi. I described it in my blog of 24 October 2007 like this…
“I arrived in Glasgow and had a momentary panic about rapid onset of symptoms so I phoned Dad as I walked to the taxi rank. I felt I was heading for a wheelchair by Christmas. He had no answers. I could hear the helplessness in his voice.”
I remember feeling sore, achey (if that’s a word) and so, so frightened. The taxi rank was not the official rank, it was an unauthorised meeting point for our local taxi firm, outside the Holiday Inn hotel. I walked to the meeting point by following the path around the hotel.
I didn’t make the connection with those events and staying in the Holiday Inn last night, and the route I would inevitably take to check-in today.
At 4.15 this morning, I walked out of the side door of the hotel and into the path. The memory of a scared boy phoning his Dad for reassurance he couldn’t give.
Imagine if he had said “Bryn, in one a half thousand days, you will travel four and a half thousand miles, to climb a hill nineteen and half thousand feet high.” I would have been delighted.
With every push of my trolley this morning, I pushed the memories back. Now I will associate the walk between the Holiday Inn and Glasgow Airport with Africa, Kilimanjaro and trying to be a