Bryn :: Another Ghost

Written on the plane, flying over The Sudan. We land in Tanzania in 2 hours. Everything is perfect.

Back in April I put the Ghosts of Paris to bed. Running the Paris marathon in 2011 was my first trip to the great city since the weekend after I was diagnosed in 2007. The weekend I hit rock bottom. A weekend which four years later the memory of still turns my stomach. Our trip in April removed the tarnish, replaced sad memories with happy. There is a blog called The Ghosts of Paris from April 2011 which gives more detail.

One of the memories of that trip resurfaced this morning. A memory that had not been forgotten just buried. A memory which had been covered in pink wobbly wrapping paper and in a cupboard disguised as a leftover Christmas present. The memory of the walk to get my taxi. I described it in my blog of 24 October 2007 like this…

“I arrived in Glasgow and had a momentary panic about rapid onset of symptoms so I phoned Dad as I walked to the taxi rank. I felt I was heading for a wheelchair by Christmas. He had no answers. I could hear the helplessness in his voice.”

I remember feeling sore, achey (if that’s a word) and so, so frightened. The taxi rank was not the official rank, it was an unauthorised meeting point for our local taxi firm, outside the Holiday Inn hotel. I walked to the meeting point by following the path around the hotel.

I didn’t make the connection with those events and staying in the Holiday Inn last night, and the route I would inevitably take to check-in today.

At 4.15 this morning, I walked out of the side door of the hotel and into the path. The memory of a scared boy phoning his Dad for reassurance he couldn’t give.

Imagine if he had said “Bryn, in one a half thousand days, you will travel four and a half thousand miles, to climb a hill nineteen and half thousand feet high.” I would have been delighted.

With every push of my trolley this morning, I pushed the memories back. Now I will associate the walk between the Holiday Inn and Glasgow Airport with Africa, Kilimanjaro and trying to be a
wildebeest.

One thought on “Bryn :: Another Ghost

  1. Good man!

    I often think if folks had said, back in 2006, that I would still be living by myself and managing, then I would have been delighted. All too often our diagnosis is surrounded, in a well-meaning way, by folks full of dire predictions and the books and information all list the endless list of “deisgner symptoms” that our disease will tailor-make for us…

    If we have to have a brain disease then we are fortunate if it is pure Parky bo11ox (my word for it).. there are medications to help…

    You are truly inspiring and if, together with your allies and friends and co-“sufferers” you remind folks to laugh and enjoy life first and deal with PD and its krap afterwards!!

    Good onya mate!! GO WILDEBEESTS!!! hehehe

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